Like most women (& some men) I enjoy getting my nails done at the salon. Over the past couple of months I've been trying to step up my nail game by actually keeping up with my acrylics...Yet it seems to be becoming almost a bit more trouble than its worth. Since I've been getting my nails done I've gone to 4 separate salons all of which have striked out in their own special and flavorfully ignorant way. I'm actually starting to think that I've pissed off some nail deity and that I will be ever be cursed with bad nail juju. Either way though this salon shenanigans is really getting out of hand. Are my nail expectations too jaded from all of the beautiful nails I see online or are these salons just shitty? I mean I would understand bad service if I was a shitty tipper or if i was the Hitler of nail salon patrons but, I'm not sooo I don't really get the deal. I'm a little mind blown still so you be the judge- have I hit a string of bad nail luck or what!?
- Salon #1: After telling me that she found my stiletto nails to be unattractive and Halloween-esque the nail technician proceeded to file my nails until the skin around them was raw and bleeding. As if that wasn't bad enough on its own she was also continually trying to convince me that I should get flower designs.... It's like I get it! It's the only thing you're good at but, this isn't 09' and I'm not going to prom. I don't want your damn flowers, lady, STOP IT. Now after my uphill battle with the sass queen herself and all the filing she did you would think that I'd have some sharp symmetrical nails but, you'd be wrong. They were sharp but ... they resembled a cluster of right angled and scalene triangles which varied in length.
- Salon #2: A few girls I know recommended a quite popular nail salon near my house. My expectations were high coming into this one... I really should have known that my confidence in the salon was way too high. I completely took off my nails from the last salon in order to start fresh with who I thought would be my new nail bff. The man I got as my nail technician didn't really want to be bffs with me though. He was much more interested in Bruce Willis's character in "Die Hard," which was playing on the salon tv. The man was so interested in Bruce that he watched the movie the entire time he was doing my nails, only looking over at my hands on only the necessary occasions. This resulted in my nails being shaped like some round tip & stiletto hybrid that I would like to call the "chubby almond" which to be honest isn't as cute as it sounds. The heart french tips he did weren't much better considering they looked like lopsided breasts.
- Salon 3: To be honest this salon did the best out of them all. The people at this salon were very nice and pleasant. My nails were all straight and they were almost all the same shape BUT, upon further investigation I found out that they have some issues with giving people nail mold. Finding that out really killed any lady boner I had for this place. I was not about to get some strange mold and lose a finger; Sorry that’s just not cute or sanitary.
- Salon 4: I broke a nail the night before I was supposed to go down to Georgetown with my boyfriend so that he could get tattooed. While he was doing is man thing I went off to do my lady thing and get my nails done. I stumbled across this cute little nail salon which seemed promising ( i mean i was in Georgetown, expensive places always seem promising.) The woman was very nice and everything seemed to be going well until she mentioned that not too many people get fake nails around there. That was my cue to die a little inside. It's not like I could do anything though she was already half way done my fill and was working on my broken nail. It was too late to run. She finished the broken nail, which turned out to be about 3 cm shorter, then my other thumbnail. It was like she didn't even really check to make sure they were even. On top of that my new thumb nail somewhat resembled a MAC lipstick cap, it was kind of pointed but mostly round. After leaving (and her telling me my nails were completely dry) I walked half a marathon back to my car. When I got to my car I found out that my nails were actually NOT dry and that my nail polish had smudged and in some places actually came off. It wasn't like I had been using my hands for any crazy activities either... the only thing I did was get my keys out of my purse you know a whole extra 20 minutes after I left. I didn't go back though it was just too far and I was too flustered. I walked my butt to CVS and got some cotton balls, a nail file, and some rubbing alcohol and re-did my nails with some polish I had in my purse.
Needless to say my spirits are a little broken at this point but I am determined to find a nail salon that will not disappoint or cause me to contract some strange fungus. Until then I will be carrying a nail file and some nail polish remover pads on me at all times just in case ;)
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